[#] Kirby's Epic Yarn (Nintendo, Wii, 2010)
An adorably refreshing tale of textiles.
With my lifestyle of pussy, pistols, and percocet (not to mention the pooper pounding I just got from New Super Mario Bros. Wii), it's nice to take a break with something fluffy and wholesome instead. Kirby's tasked with banishing a malevolent wizard setting out to literally felt Dream Land, traversing lands of sweets, volcanoes, and outer space in the process—as implied, all built out of hand-stitching and patches of denim and corduroy. It looks great on a big TV, but it's no mere detailing: the pulls, zippers, and sewn on patches factor heavily into the platforming.
Kirby himself gets a yarn makeover as well, but imagine my surprise when I couldn't inhale enemies! Instead, Kirby gets a Simon Belmont whip to yank around enemies and parts of the level, swinging on buttons and even sewing up a teddy bear's wounds in one stage—just as a matter of platforming! Kirby does still shapeshift plenty, and these sections are my favorite, as they let you hose down jets of fire or blow through the desert as a monster truck. Hugely satisfying sections that break up the short-as-they-are stages even more. Each world features a boss, and these get rather inventive as well (Squashini's wheel of attacks come to mind).
Yarn is never particularly difficult to beat, and you can't die, but getting hit makes you spill the collected sequins you get graded on at the end of each stage, which is almost as bad a punishment! There are side attractions where the furniture you find hiding in each stage can be used to decorate apartments, but I didn't pay them much mind. I'm still not head over heels for platformers as a genre, but Kirby's Epic Yarn is one of the most thoughtfully put together and cheerful ones you can find around. It takes the core of a Kirby game and recontextualizes its elements into something incredibly fresh.
| Reviewed | My favorite part |
|---|---|
| May 16, 2026 | Getting that end of stage star bonus wheel just right |
| Recommended for... not diabetics, that's for sure. | |



