Welcome to mariteaux.somnolescent.net!

Before I let you in, I gotta ask...

How old is the device you're using to browse this site?

(here's why I ask)

The latest and greatest. No exceptions.

(Modern Chrome/Firefox, Edge, Opera, Vivaldi, Safari, phone browsers)

(Pick this if you're unsure)

It can run Crysis! Not very well, but

(IE7+, Mozilla Suite/RetroZilla/Netscape 6.0+/Firefox 2.0+, Safari 3, Camino)

It has a gig of Napster MP3s on it

(IE6 and under, Netscape 4.0 and under, or text mode browsers like Lynx)